Sunday, June 16, 2013

No cuts' man!

     Fist of all, may I wish all of you wonderful Fathers out there in Blog-land a happy Fathers day? And to all of you less than wonderful Fathers.... ah never mind. In honor of this special day, I wanted to make my husband his favorite breakfast in the world, fresh baked cinnamon rolls with gooey cream cheese frosting. But, since I can't do that, I did the next best thing, I went to Stater Brothers (our neighborhood grocery store). I knew that I would find the prepackaged BPA laden plastic container of 6 beautiful cinnamon rolls for the convenient price of just $3.49.
     I took those sticky beauties straight up to the check out lane, and if you know Stater Brothers, you know that their check out is about as slow as pouring a jarful of molasses in the dead of Winter. Of course this has economical benefits for me. For instance, I can check out the "Plastic surgery gone bad" issue of the National Enquirer without buying it. Not that I would ever stoop to such a level mind you.... Ahem. The line was about 6 people deep. I was #7..... It didn't look good. I began perusing the magazine rack and checking the sale prices of bubble gum. Then, a wonderful thing happened. Over the loudspeaker I heard those wonderful words, "Cashiers to the registers please."
     The new cashier stepped up to person #2 and asked if they would like to come to a new lane. Everyone but me followed. I'm no fool. I knew that my chances of getting out of there in less than five minutes severely diminished if I moved. I decided to hunker down and wait it out in isle #5 thank you very much. Until...a man with a gallon of milk stepped in front of me. Now, I don't know what kind of milk emergency he may have been suffering from at his home, and honestly, I just didn't care. How dare he take cuts!!! I'm pretty sure I heard the theme music from The good, the bad and the ugly. (I know this song very well, every single note because my dear son, during the summer of 5th grade decided to master it with his recorder....over and over again he played that catchy little tune. Until tragically and mysteriously it ended up missing. Go figure, right?)
     It was just Milk man and me. Our eyes locked. I  glared. He glared right back. This was a show down. I refused to even consider defeat. He took his milk and reached over to place it on the conveyor belt, I pushed my cart forward so he couldn't....and then? Another check stand opened and he left. Victory! Woo hoo! That's right, Mr. Milk man disappeared from my life and isle #5 just as quickly as he had appeared. Smart man if you ask me. So, as I taught my children so long ago, I also teach you. NEVER start a fight, but if someone else does, make sure you finish it.
     Till next time,
     Miss Jodi (Victor of Stater Brothers Hesperia CA)