Thursday, December 26, 2013

Cuts and scrapes

     I think, I just may be a magnet for interesting people and situations. How else can you explain such strange things happening to me so often? Last week I took my daughter to the Doctor. An ordinary day, doing ordinary things. Right? Well, to start with, at the surprisingly short line to check in, a woman came up behind us with the energy level of an espresso addict. She asked us what was in our cups, and after telling her, she went on and on about how she would like to try them, and told us how she was sensitive to caffeine and for that reason she had iced tea each morning. As she said this she swirled around her drink so we could hear the ice cubes clinking together and hitting the walls of the cup. She was so interested in what we were drinking, that I almost handed her my cup. She was a sweet heart, very kind and very, very chatty and I am thankful to her because her company made the time in line even shorter. After our appointment we waited for the elevator and an adorable elderly lady walked up. She had a golfers cap and a coordinating outfit. She asked us which elevator we were waiting for and we told her we were waiting for the one going down. She happened to be waiting for the same one. So we waited together. It was about that time that I noticed she was holding something bright yellow in a bag. I didn't think much of it until we reached the lower floor and she asked directions to the pharmacy. I told her we were headed there and would be happy to take her there with us. She seemed happy and continued to follow us with her yellow-something-in-hand. When we reached the pharmacy I told her to stand here in this line and that she could go ahead of us. When she got to the drop off counter she placed her bottle of yellow on the counter and asked the technician if he knew what it was. He answered, "Betadine." "How do you know?!!" She angrily asked him. "Well, he answered, "I work in a pharmacy..."She seemed curious, but satisfied with that explanation and asked him, "What is it used for?" He answered, "Wounds." "Rooms?" She asked him. "No, not rooms, WOUNDS." "My WOMB?" She yelled, clearly shocked. "NO! WOUNDS! Cuts and scratches!" He yelled back, at this point nervously. "CUTS and SCRATCHES?" She asked. "Yes, YES! Cuts and scratches!" He yelled back. She left the counter and we approached. The technician was at this point spraying the counter with cleaner and wiping it down. Distractedly, he mentioned that her bag was leaking. We asked him why she had the bag and he said he had no idea and began to run his fingers through his hair. After giving our prescription to be filled, we turned around and looked for her, hoping to sit next to her while we waited but she was gone. Wherever she went, she took off quickly and we never saw her, or her bottle of Betadine again...But at least we know what to put on our cuts and scrapes now.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas

     I was having coffee with my Mama the other day and the subject of love came up. It occurred to me that we spend so much time being disappointed by people because they don't love us the way we love them. All along they have been loving us they way they need to be loved...maybe your sister didn't tell you she loved you, but showed her love with her actions. Maybe your father didn't hug you but he spent hours at work providing for you. Maybe I don't listen, hug, give gifts, fill in the blank when that is what is needed from me. And maybe, just maybe, we all need to recognize that what we need, we give...So this year, don't waste time hoping that someone will love you the way you love them, recognize what they are doing to express their love for you. That's what Christmas is for me, recognizing the sacrifice of others on my behalf. Tonight, I thank God for the sacrifice of Jesus. I hope you share my thoughts. Merry Christmas from my heart to yours. I hope you are surrounded by those you love this Christmas, and if you are not, I hope you savor some sweet memories of them.
     Miss Jodi

Monday, December 23, 2013

Adventure in texting

     Last summer we made the mistake of going to PetSmart on adoption day...I'm sure you know the drill...but should you happen to be one of those annoying people who can resist a rescued puppy, it goes a little something like this: we see a cute little puppy and go up to it. Brilliant sales person honed in her skills, rushes up to us and tells us one of several heart wrenching stories about how the puppy was found wandering around the Mojave Desert being chased by a group of mange covered coyotes, about how she was then nursed back to health from starving and dehydrated, and of course, close to death. The puppy was rescued just in time. Of course, if they cannot find a "Forever Home" for her, TONIGHT by 6pm, she will be put down. What a tragedy, what a waste...but if you sign here and pay $89. not only you can take her home, but you get a free 1/4 lb bag of puppy chow, and a coupon for 5% off your total purchase of $20. or less of qualifying purchases, only at a participating PetSmart, and only within the first hour of owning her. No sooner did we get her home did said puppy develop a case of diarrhea. Having just spent $89. on the adoption fee, $25. on a dog bed and $63. on a dog crate, we were a bit short on cash. So, we did what any concerned (cheap) person would do, we called my niece who happens to be a Veterinary technician, and explained the situation to her. Being the gem that she is, we were given instructions that I shall not mention here, and told to keep her informed. So, we did as she suggested and began our vigilant watch over the puppies poop's. The next morning I sent my niece a text with an update on the puppy, it went something like this: "Hi Nichole, the puppy seems to be doing good. She still has soupy poops but is acting fine and eating and drinking normally." That afternoon I sent her another: "Hi Nikki, All is good. She still has diarrhea though. Other than that she seems to be happy and is playful. Love you!" And that evening another, "Hi Love, she still has diarrhea. No other changes."  I'm sure you can imagine my surprise and utter horror, when a few minutes later I received a text that read: "Hey, I'm really sorry about your dog, but you have the wrong number. Please stop texting me..." Needless to say, I am now very careful when I send texts. Especially when they contain updates on my dogs stool.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Gift Bags

     Gift bags. I'm not quite sure when they first came into existence, but along with the rest of America, I am exceedingly grateful to the genius who thought them up. Gone are the days of trying to wrap a fire poker or a kitten. No more trying to find a square box big enough so you can wrap up a bonus pack of tighty whites or a hockey stick. And the best thing about gift bags is that as long as someone didn't break a gift bag rule, you can re-use them. I am pretty sure I got one from the 90's for my birthday last year...With the holidays just around the corner, I thought I would do us all a favor and write out the Gift Bag rules. It's just my way of making gift giving a little easier, or at least a little less awkward. So go ahead and re-use the gift bag you were given, that along with making gift wrapping simple, is really the whole point, just make sure to follow these guidelines:
     (1.  Keep the bag decor appropriate for the gift you are giving. For instance, don't use a bag decorated with Elmo to give a graduation gift (FYI grads like mullah more than gifts anyway), or a wedding bag to give a birthday gift (especially to an unmarried relative, because they may think you are trying to tell them something).
     (2.   Avoid at all costs re-using a popular theme on a bag. No Tickle from "Moonshiners, Uncle Si from "Duck-Dynasty," or 6 year old "Mylie Cyrus" bags. EVER. And no matter how tempting it may be to buy 6 for a dollar at the local K-Mart, don't. Just DON'T. Pass on that Blue Light special.
     (3.   Never write a name directly on a gift bag. This ruins the re-using possibilities for the next person, and a tree will have to be cut down so a new bag can be made. You don't want to live with that guilt now do you? And along these lines, when you re-use a bag, check carefully to make sure that there isn't a name hidden somewhere on the bag. You don't want the recipient of your gift to loudly exclaim, "Who is Hunny Bear?" That's just awkward.
     So there you have it folks. From my home to yours. Feel free to pass this information on. Knowledge is power.
     Till next time,
     If it can't fit in a bag, don't give it.
     Miss Jodi