Saturday, June 1, 2013

I am against Spanxing


     To Spanx, or not to Spanx. THAT is the question. I understand the desire to look nice in your clothes. We all want to look our best. I would venture to guess that the majority of us would like to be a few pounds lighter, or a bit tighter and more toned in certain areas. But, is Spanx really the way to accomplish this? First of all, isn't it really false advertising? And secondly, when you get home and take that puppy off, you are still going to be you. You cannot lie to your jammies. They know secrets no one else does....
     I admit to having tried some on before. It wasn't pretty. It may have been a few sizes too small, and I may have panicked when I realized that I was stuck and in desperate need of the Jaws of Life to get me out of that torturous device. And maybe I looked like a busted can of biscuits. Maybe...We all know there are  those life changing moments such as the one I just described that made me feel like a sausage in a casing. Those moments when you think, "Is this REALLY worth the pain I have to go through when I wear it, and the utterly devastating humiliation and following depression that I face when I take the thing off....

     Now, if they could somehow make a permanent change, I would surely rethink my decision to never Spanx again. If we could somehow squeeze into that modern day corset and when we took it off, our bodies would be transformed like the Plah doh barber shops we used to play with, do you remember those? You would squeeze the play doh through the head, place a form around it, open it up and BAM! A perfect hairdo.... well, if you could do that,THEN, I would reconsider. But only then. So until that day, you can keep your Spanx to your self, thank you very much.

     Against Spanxing,
     Miss Jodi