Saturday, July 13, 2013

Tell me the truth, but not the WHOLE truth, so help me God...



     Sometimes, when I ask your opinion...I don't really want the truth. Sometimes I just want you to be polite. Now I know that this is confusing, especially to men. Women (most women) understand what I mean when I say this. As a matter of fact, the very reason I am writing this is because of a conversation I had tonight with a man who happened  to tell me the truth when in fact, I just wanted him to be polite. I have been on a journey to increase my family's health since October 31. On this journey I have been trying alternative recipes with different ingredients. Almond flour instead of wheat flour for instance. Maybe an avocado instead of oil. Honey instead of refined sugar. You get the picture right? Well tonight I made some healthy brownies. They tasted pretty good. Not over the top, but I must say they were yummy. I asked each family member if they liked them and they all told me they did. All except my man-child. When I asked him, his answer was a brutal and dismissive, "Not really." And as if that wasn't hurtful enough, he continued to explain, "I like my brownies to be sweet, and cakey, and chewy. THAT tasted like a piece of bread that happened to have chocolate flavor in it." (All of a sudden he is a brownie connoisseur. Gordon Ramsey. Abraham Friggin Lincoln!!!!) How dare he be so rude as to tell me the truth? He may as well have been raised by wolves! Where did I go wrong? HOW will he succeed in life? (Marriage? I'm praying already!)Sheesh! OK I admit I may have told him that lying is wrong. I guess he learned THAT lesson pretty well, (why he didn't learn that you wash whites with whites is beyond me, all his whites are a gnarly shade of grey) but I obviously neglected to teach him to read more into a question than the question itself. (From a woman anyway. Man to man talk is different, so is  Woman to woman talk, and Man to Woman talk and so forth.) That when a woman has lovingly prepared something for you and when asked if you liked it, instead of comparing it to a piece of bread, perhaps, if you are going to tell the truth, say something like, I like your old recipe better. And stop there...
     Miss-I'm-praying-that-his-future-wife-never-asks-"Does this make me look fat?"