Monday, July 22, 2013

Best invention since the light bulb?

     As many of you know, I have suffered from insomnia for years. After trying everything from Melatonin to prescriptions, I begged my doctor for help that did not include a pill. Thank God he finally listened (I wonder if twisting his arm forcefully behind his back until I heard a sickening cracking noise and he screamed out in pain, "Help me! O help me somebody!" had anything to do with it? Hmmmm...) and approved a class for me. Last Friday I went to an "Insomnia-Workshop" which I admit to thinking would be lame but since my desperation level was at an all time high, I went. I envisioned dim lights and blankies, maybe a lullaby and a teddy... Yes, there were adults of all kinds holding coffee cups of varying sizes and yes, they all looked like they had been to hell and back (myself included). Hey, sleep deprivation ain't pretty folks...but the lights were brightly lit, there were no teddies in sight, and no lullabies being sung (which is a very good thing because I can drop kick you into next Tuesday before you see it coming). As I sat there with my smug attitude, arms crossed, expecting to hear stupid suggestions such as: think happy thoughts, don't worry, inhale lavender, take a warm bath, or smoke a doobie, I have to admit to you that I was blown away by the level of research and education completed by the woman giving the class. She was highly intelligent and compassionate, as well as being a bit saucy. I like that. She gave us REAL information like, you must turn off all technology 3 hours before bed because the blue light in things such as a computer or television sends your brain a signal that the sun is still shining and therefore, it's not time for bed, and do not exercise for 4 hours before bed, and the most mind blowing to me was, your bedroom must be between 60 and 65 degrees in order for you to sleep properly. Apparently, your core body temperature needs needs to lower in order for your body to function in sleep mode. Well no wonder I can't sleep! I live in the Mojave Desert for goodness sake. (I have a theory that NO ONE but coyotes and scorpions and maybe John the Baptist was ever meant to live here) It only gets to about 80 at bedtime. Do the math people, it's too dang hot to sleep! Anyway this woman gave us some truly helpful suggestions. One was Blue blocking glasses (which I couldn't find anywhere) and the second was a Chillow. The glasses are dark orange and send the signal to your brain that it is time to start preparing for sleep. The Chillow  simply helps you to be cooler when you sleep. I found the Chillow at Walgreens for $12.99 and brought it home. I had the hubs read the instructions because I am too impatient and then tell me what to do. We filled that baby up with the right amount of water, let it sit till the next evening and I slipped it into my pillow case. Did I sleep? Oooo! O yes I did! O happy day! I slept better than I have in a long time! So if anyone of you are also suffering from insomnia may I suggest the Chillow? FYI, I have not been paid to review this product (not that I would refuse a check in the mail mind you). But it got me thinking about how many other wonderful uses I could find for this product....Chillow socks, Chillow Mattress, (hello hot-flashing-menopausal-women? hello!!!) Chillow brassiere, (Hollah!) Chillow jammies, Chillow jump suit, a Chillow HOUSE!!!!....I could go on. THINK of the possibilities! THIS COULD CHANGE THE WORLD! Every where that I go, everything that I see, becomes a big Chillow to me....Really! I think I may be obsessed. If Chillow was a person I would stalk him on FaceBook. I don't know what it is, I don't care. I don't know how it works, I don't care. All I know is that it DOES in deed work, and work well. Extraordinarily well. So well in fact that I am writing a product review on a humor blog. Go to Walgreens right now. Run if you must. It's THAT wonderful.
     Miss Happy with my Chillow-Jodi