Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Pearls of wisdom part two
I have seen my share of tantrums and fits. And just because my youngest is at the golden and glorious age of 15 doesn't mean we are through with them either. BELIEVE me you! My head is not full of silver hair because my life as a parent has been easy. Each silver strand, I am convinced, belongs to a particular fit from a particular child...I have no scientific evidence to back this theory up, but to be honest, I don't need it.
I want to be very clear, I am not an expert on child rearing. I have no degree in early childhood development that I can frame and nail to my wall. But what I do have is just as valuable, if not more. I have experience Jack. You can read all the books on parenting that you want, but let me tell you a secret: someone, somewhere had to gain the experience before they could teach it. Someone had to school the scholars. Which brings me to Part Two of Pearls of Wisdom:
From the minute your child breathes his first breath, he will be out for number one. I am not saying that your child is self centered, arrogant, and selfish...wait, YES. Yes I am. He is all of those and more. Now that does not make your child wicked, or any worse than the next child that comes along, it just make them human. Our role as parents is to help our child become compassionate and kind and one day be a benefit to society and to man kind. Those are all things that do not come naturally.
One thing I see far too often in our society right now is the mistake of trying to be your child's friend. Let me make it clear here peeps, you cannot be your child's friend. Until that is, they are out of the house. Trying to be a friend instead of being an authoritative role as a parent sets your child up for failure. Don't do it. It's not only OK to tell your child "No," it is imperative to your child's development. I know it's hard and everything in you wants to make your child happy, but being happy isn't the most important thing in life, I don't care what Cinderella says...
Saying "No" sets boundaries, and helps your child learn to respect authority by helping them to understand that you know better than they do. Let your child have a good fit when you tell them they cannot have brownies for dinner. But here is the key: ignore the fit. When they are good and tired, tell them that you understand how frustrated they were, but that kind of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Eating brownies for dinner is not OK for a child. For a mommy, yes. But not for Junior.
I speak for all of society when I tell you that we are sick of your bratty child getting everything they want, exactly when they want it. It sets them up for failure when they enter school, and if it continues long enough, you end up with an entitled young adult who refuses to do what their employer asks them to do and doesn't understand why they were not promoted to Vice President after working for an entire 3 weeks, which leads to your young adult living with you FOREVER, which NO sane person wants. And now that we are talking about children getting what they want, here is a tip that will make your life a heck of a lot easier: tell your children that if they see a toy on television, they cannot have it. Ever. This helped us a great deal when our kids were younger and Christmas time rolled around. Here is another tip, (I'm on a roll here folks!) don't buy your children anything until they are 5 years old. Until then, everything is a huge waste of money and really only serves your ego to give it to them. First off, they won't remember, and secondly, they will be just as happy with an empty box as they will with the toy that came in it. So what's the point in it? Don't take them to Disneyland before the age of 5 either. WASTE-OF-TIME-AND-MULAH. Sorry Mickey. It is the truth. Give your child chores and the satisfaction they get from a job well done will help build their character much better that the latest Tonka truck or Barbi doll. Well, there you have it. I'm ready to get off of my soap box. Till next time anyway...
I'll be back with part three soon,