Monday, September 30, 2013

Natalia Anna Maria and the salad bar

     Do other countries have salad bars or is the idea of "All you can eat" exclusive to America? I don't know about you, but our family loves the idea of rows and rows of luke warm broccoli, spinach, beets, jello cubes, and imitation crab salad. Let's not forget the containers of salad dressings that some ding dong switched the serving ladle for so now the Blue cheese is contaminating the Thousand Island. I'm not sure what the attraction is, but it's there, and we fall for it every time. (Seriously, there should be rules posted somewhere that everyone can see. Better yet? You should have to sign a contract before you fill up that plate!) As of now, the only safeguard we have in place is the sneeze guard. (Gag) At the Sizzer the other day, I just happen to get behind some man who loved to say his daughters name so much that he used it in each and every sentence. "Natalia Anna Maria, would you like some olives on your salad? Natalia Anna Maria, how about some croutons? Natalia Anna Maria, look at the peaches! You love peaches! Would you like some in a bowl or on the salad plate? Natalia Anna Maria if you eat your salad you can have some ice cream for dessert!" Good grief! Let the kid serve herself! Spare me and the rest of civilization our sanity and stop saying her name! And if anyone ever simply calls her by her first name only, the poor kid won't know who they are talking to! I can only take so much!  For goodness sake people! Do us all a favor and don't give your kids a name with more than 2 syllables! And don't use their middle name in public! Middle names are for birth certificates, wedding announcements, for mamas to use when you are in serious trouble, and obituaries. That's it!  How do you not know this? Ask anyone! Look around you! Stop being so self indulgent. Yes its a pretty name, but I don't want to hear it more than once. NOBODY does! I guarantee you! We can take a poll right here and now and I bet 99% of the people would agree that no one cares what your kids middle name is.
     Honestly, middle names are superfluous!
     Miss Jodi (Kay for the record, or obituary, which ever comes first)