Wednesday, September 18, 2013
One of the most difficult parts about being a parent is having to decide what battles your child must face on their own and when it is necessary to step in. After months of waiting, and praying, and letting her face it on her own, I stepped in on my teenagers behalf today. I hope I made the right decision.... I am praying that I did and that I handled it correctly. Wouldn't the world be a much nicer place if we all just followed those rules we learned in Kindergarten? You know: Share, Play Nicely, and Don't eat the paste? Sigh....
I believe that in our society today, there are far too many Helicopter Moms out there. (Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. ) We.hold our children on a pedestal, where they don't belong, and anyone who offers the slightest criticism is torn to shreds. What happens then, is our children are unable to take any criticism, good or bad, true or false. They begin to actually believe that they can do no wrong. Their respect for authority begins to fade, until it gets to the point that if anyone offers any advice they are mocked and belittled. A police officer handing out a ticket is accused of singling them out. A teacher who gives a poor grade on a test is questioned. An employer who suggests that an employee be thorough in their work, then has their employee walk in the middle of their shift in frustration. I don't want that for my children! I want to have them respect those in authority over them. The difficulty however, lies in not letting things get to the point where your child is bullied.
There is a scene in the movie "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle" that is running through my mind right now. In it, Peyton the nanny who is played by Rebecca De Mornay, confidently walks up to the schoolyard bully and grabs him by the arm. She then twists it until it almost breaks and tells him that she has a message from Emma (the girl she takes care of). "Leave Emma alone or I'm gonna rip your --- head off."
I know exactly how she feels. I admit to fantasizing about doing something similar to this. And hey, if I'm going to be honest here, quite often. The good thing? I don't follow through. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." Perfectly put, and so true. The fury that boils inside of you when you see your loved one being treated unfairly or cruelly can often be unbearable. I believe that when God says in the Good Book, "Justice is mine," He is, as always speaking truth. But I find it hard to resist helping Him out sometimes...There are often times, when resisting such satisfying behavior is unbearable.
A couple of years ago, I was working with a woman who was horrible. I am not exaggerating. She was a Triple Horned Beast in a power suit. I could do nothing right. She seemed to have her radar set directly onto me. I did my best and worked with great integrity but to no avail. One particularly grueling day, I was weary and emotionally drained from the stress. I couldn't take it a minute longer. I was so tired of this woman cutting corners when it came to her work and arriving late and leaving early and then turning around and criticizing and punishing my hard work. When she left that day, I continued praying just as I had been. But this time instead of prayers to be able to continue and to bear it, my prayers were, "Lord, I cannot. Not another day, not another minute. Father take me out of this workplace or take her." I admit, I was greatly tempted to ask Him to take her life....(I am not proud of this.) I didn't ask Him to, but yes, it was that bad, and yes,the thought did cross my mind 2 or perhaps even 2,010 times (give or take). However, I refrained from suggesting that she meet Jesus that night, and I am so glad I did! The next day when I got to work, everything was going along as normal. Until about 11. Suddenly a locksmith showed up. Co-workers began whispering. Then the manager came up to me and told me that the Triple Horned Beast in a power suit was no longer employed by the company, and was not welcome on the premises. Furthermore, I was to call security if she came for her belongings. She had been fired. THANK GOD I didn't ask for her life! O thank you LORD! I had such guilt over asking that she be taken out of the work place and it actually happening!!! Let me tell you, we need to be careful what we ask God for. I should have been asking Him to soften her heart and to weigh heavy upon her conscience to work with integrity. Instead, I selfishly prayed for her to be removed.
I am a wicked person. I readily admit to this. The good news is, I don't follow up on my horrible thoughts. Sometimes I even do the right thing. Not always. I would like to think that I do the right thing more and more often as I get older. I sure hope that as I get closer to heaven, my heart gets more and more ready to be there. In the mean time, keep me in your prayers would ya? And you can also pray that I find that happy medium. You know, that place of discretion found somewhere between the Helicopter Mom and the Mom who looks away in the name of teaching responsibility? Thanks all.
Till next time,
I'm not doing what I want to do....