Church Etiquette

     I have noticed that some of you seem to be unaware of the church etiquette and so I thought it would be beneficial to have a little refresher on this topic. Not that I am without fault mind you, but what I do know, I will gladly share for the benefit of all. I'm nice like that.
     First of all, if you are not in a hand raising church, don't raise your hands. You might scare someone when the Spirit is moving. Secondly, it is OK to have some candy during the message, something small like a Tic Tac. No Kentucky Fried Chicken though, it's just too messy. And no gum. Nobody wants to hear you smacking or snapping your bubble gum. Nasty. Now your pastor knows good and well that we eat during his sermon. But don't be noisy (make sure you have quiet wrappers), and wait till he turns away from you or looks at his notes before you bring anything up to your mouth. You don't want him to see you eating because he may get hungry and punish you by going over and talking about In N Out. Thirdly, if you save a seat for someone who is notorious for being late (Vicki Hetzel), don't make eye contact with the usher or he will make you move and Vicki will be without a seat. Be quiet. Now is not the time to be catching up with your neighbor, and certainly NOT during worship. That's just plain rude. Turn off your phone. No body needs to talk to you during church except Jesus and He won't call your mobile. I guarantee this. And no texting. Or Angry Birds. Lastly, don't touch your face or scratch your nose during an altar call. Folks just get too excited and think you are getting saved. Awkward.
     Anyway, I hope y'all are taking notes. I will see what I can do about getting this published in the church bulletin. In the mean time, do your best to spread the word. 
     Till next time,
     Miss Jodi