Contraband

     I know we are all trying to save money right now, especially since we just finished up with Christmas. So I thought I would share with you some money saving tips for seeing movies. I saw Le Miserables today and FYI, it was AMAZING! I would highly recommend it to you. I guarantee that if you see it, you will be singing instead of talking the rest of the day. Just ask the kid at the MacDonald's drive through. Yep, I sang my order.
     So back to saving money at the theaters. My first tip is to see a matinee. Where I live, the usual price is $8.50 and the shows before 5pm are only $5. Tip two, go online and join your theaters email list. They often will send coupons to bring you in. Thirdly don't bring a child under the age of 12. Anything before that is a waste of money and time. They won't remember it either. We will talk more about that another time. Lastly, buy your contraband at the dollar store instead of the grocery or convenience store. NEVER NEVER EVER buy candy at the theater. EVER. Simply bring your big purse, stuff your candy in there and a bottle of pop or water. Just make sure you conceal it well  when you go to pay for your ticket. You don't want your Kit Kat's and Raisenette's falling out onto the counter for the clerk to see, because they might ask you to leave. And that would be awkward, right? I sure hope that helps you save a few dollars. Let me know how it works for you, or if you have some other tips for the theater.
     Miss Jodi

Cool Mom

     I am now blessed to be the mother of two lovely teenage daughters. (yes please pray for me! ) Tonight a young teenage man came to spend some time with us, (Or should I say one of my gorgeous big blue eyed daughters?) I couldn't help but to think back on the days of toddlers, and how you were a "Cool Mom" if you provided a craft or activity like finger paint, or play doh and had healthy snack such as carrot sticks and apple juice. How different things are now. They still want snacks, but they have to be junk, and soda pop is a must. Instead of interaction, invisibility is their parenting method of choice...Sigh. Missing my toddlers tonight...
     Invisible Miss Jodi

Happy toddlers

     What is your opinion about the current method of child rearing? You know the one that says EVERYTHING should be either fun or entertaining? Toothbrushes have princesses or cars on them, sippy cups have smiley faces, and then there are pull ups. Whose idea was this? Why are we buying in to the idea that we need to manipulate our children to do things? What ever happened to being proud of accomplishing something?  I'm not saying you should send your child to a factory for 9 hours a day, but really? A Hello Kitty toothbrush to "encourage our kids to brush their teeth? What ever happened to a dentists drill? Sippy cups? Just another form of a bottle. Hey, you don't need a lid for your drink. Just sit at the table till you are finished. Pull ups? Are you going to tell me nothing is wrong with a 3 year old crapping their pants? What ever happened to training pants? Those thick fabric undies just in case you have an accident? Do you really want your child to stop messing their pants? Get rid of the Pull ups and get some training pants. Let them wear them a wet pair for a hour or so and they will remember how uncomfortable it is and not want to do it again. Whats wrong with our society? Join with me, parents of America! Let's raise our children to be aware of consequences. Not everything has to be fun. It really is no wonder that our teenagers don't want to take out the trash, I have yet to see a Dora the Explorer trash can. Is it so difficult to understand why our young adults don't want to work hard at their job if they don't have Bob the Builder painted on their lunch box?

100 calorie snacks

     What do you think about 100 calorie snacks? Have you ever purchased any? If you have, like me, you were SHOCKED at the sized and amount. Six lonely little chips in a bag, or a cup cake the size of a nickle? Good grief! I really do like the idea, but unless you are a toddler or a Barbie doll (and we all know she is anorexic anyway right?) they just won't cut it in the snack department. Wait, IS there a snack department? 'Cause if there is, I want to go there. Unless it's a vegan snack department. Or a virtual snack department.

I love the difference

     I am a girly-girl. I love bubble baths, and mani/pedis, and sparkles, and glitter, and smelling nice, and wearing red lipstick, and mascara, and lingerie, and sometimes all at once. I hate those horrible Sarah McLachlan-ASPCA-In-the-Arms-of-an-Angel commercials with the pictures of starving neglected animals. They actually make me sick to my stomach, and leave me considering how I can find all the homeless  puppies and kittens in the world "Forever homes." (Contact me by the way if you would like to give a home to a tiny grey and white kitten, I can hook you up.) I love making my surroundings beautiful and welcoming, whether it is a table cloth, a clean sink with a flower in a jelly glass, or a warm dinner.
     However, along with the gift of compassion, and a desire to make others lives better, comes an emotional spectrum that varies as wildly as a kitten from a lion. No, lets make that a mama bear whose cubs have been threatened...yeah. Much more accurate. Just ask my husband.
     As much as I love being a woman, I  kinda wonder sometimes, what God may have been thinking when He made us so emotional. And speaking of God, I am most certain, that if Eve made it to heaven, God has her, out of necessity, in the "Witness Protection Program." Yep. Her name is probably now something common like Maria, or Patricia, Patty for short. But when I get there, I'm going to shout out, "Hey Eve!" and see if she turns around.
     Now don't get me wrong. I love men. Heck, I even married one. I do appreciate that men don't care about getting dirty, that they will, in most instances come to my rescue when I see a foot long hairy wicked spider, (OK maybe it wasn't a foot long, but it was pretty darned close to it!) and that they will chivalrously open a door for me. I appreciate that you change tires and pump gasoline and change oil and unclog toilets. Not because I couldn't, but because it's icky. And I don't want to.
     Now I won't complain to you about menstrual cramps, or childbirth, (although it is excruciatingly painful). It's just what we do. Again and again. Although I believe that a woman and a man should be paid the same for the same work, I do not consider myself to be feminist. I do not want to be a man, do not have "Envy" of any thing you have, nor do I  want to pee standing up, however convenient it may prove to be, especially during long road trips. I like you just the way you are. So, leave me alone.
     Miss Jodi

Christmas "greetings?" a rant

     I have to admit, although I did not send a single Christmas card this year, (so you can stop looking for one in your mailbox) I truly do enjoy receiving them. There is just something so heart warming about going to your mailbox and finding something other than the light bill, Penny Saver, or weekly mattress ad (and on that thought, why do I get one EVERY week? How often do people buy mattresses for goodness sake? Unless those horrifying and nightmare inducing "informative commercials" about how we sweat ten gallons yearly, and reminding us of bed bug infestations get you in there on a regular basis.) Those Old School Christmas greetings with the Nativity or tiny flocked winter scenes, or the little carolers singing, leave me with a cozy feeling inside. I especially enjoy the pictures of your family, and being able to see how the kids have grown over the past year.     
     However, the newly famous Family news letter informing me of Matthew Henry Juniors' latest karate belt, and Aunt Junes hemorrhoid surgery I can honestly do without. Thanks but no thanks. If we are not close enough for me to already know about your cataract surgery, I don't need to know now.
      Last year I got my first email greeting. Yeah, I guess that's nice and all that, but I'm not terribly impressed. And this year? Two surprises for me. A Face Book Christmas greeting, and....are you sitting down? Well my guess is yes, since this is on a computer screen and not too many people read their computer standing up or kick boxing, but that's beside the point. THIS YEAR, I got several Christmas texts. That's right. As if a frigging stamp is too much to spend on me, you had to go and use your unlimited texting. Cheap. Easy. And cheesy. Please, don't bother.
      If I mean enough to you, and you cannot afford a stamp, or like me, just didn't get around to sending them out, do not email, Face Book, or text me. The lack of effort they take to send is truly offensive. Truly. A phone call, a hand written note, or a tray of home baked vanilla-almond cookies with frosting and sprinkles to be specific are a much nicer, and always welcomed alternative.
     Miss Jodi

Conversations in my head

I live in an area of California that allows us to have a small flock of hens. Surprisingly, chickens are quite intelligent. Well, not so smart that they can keep us from eating them, but definitely smarter than a pigeon...I find it so amusing when they conspire to hide their eggs from me. Like today, I just found a pile of six fresh warm eggs in the storage shed. As if they are thinking: "THIS! THIS is the day that we will hatch an egg! That wicked woman who feeds us mash and kitchen scraps 3 times a day, and keeps out nesting boxes clean and full of fresh pine bedding will NEVER figure out where we laid our eggs THIS TIME! We are much more clever than she! O NO! She walking towards the nest! Don't look at her! She might figure it out! O dear, she is getting warmer...ACK! She's hot! She found the babies!"  Is it just me? or do other people have pet conversations in their head? Please only tell me if you do. I cannot stand the news of my insanity today...be gentle with me folks!

"Re-gifting"

So with Christmas fast approaching, I thought I would give you some practical tips for "Re-Gifting." Oh, now don't even bother to pretend that you don't, haven't or won't. I'm sure even Mary "Re-Gifted" some of that Gold...Let's start with the basics. When you receive a gift that is a good candidate, take a moment to write down who gave it to you, especially if you are prone to forgetfulness. You can save yourself from a very awkward moment that may arise if you happen to give Aunt Prudence the same Barack-O-Bama-Chia head that she gave you last year. Secondly, make sure your gifts are age appropriate. For instance, 86 year old Great Gramma Bonnie may not be as appreciative of the Victorias' Secret gift card as your newly wed niece may be. And thirdly, NEVER "Re-gift" a Re-gifted-gift. It's just wrong. Especially fruit cake, but that's another story altogether. Any way, I hope that helps you a little bit.

Let me know how it works for you!

Miss Jodi